Some tricky business

You know...when i was a teenager, i never wanted to get married or have children. Don't take it wrong, i loved working with disadvantaged kids, giving them all my love and taking care of them. But i always thought i was enable to be a good parent. I only thought about adopting someday kids without families or home, but never having a husband. I rejected the whole idea of couple or relationship.

Yeah, i almost got married once, when i was in my early 20s; mostly because i thought that was what i was supposed to do. He had a daughter, he was a lot older than me (i had less age difference with her daughter, but she was still a child), i loved his daughter so much, and she had too many disorders in her life... I wanted to take care of her, teach her, protect her, and be there for her; kinda being her substitute mom, i thought i was supposed to do that. Unfortunately that relationship ended pretty badly. 

Lucky me, after all the drama, i found someone... I found someone who i could talk to, share things, laugh tons, etc. I started to get to know this person that taught me so many things, made me grow as a person, become a so much better version of myself that i never thought i could be.

Sure, we had a rough time; i thought it was too perfect to be real, that it couldn't last. I had some issues to work with and felt like i couldn't solve them by his side; i needed to work on my own. Plus, he deserved better.

Being apart from him, was the hardest thing i ever had to do (and i have lots of rough situations), but i tried telling myself that "it was for the best". The truth is, i was misserable.. Prettending to be having fun and enjoying my single life; when all i was feelling was pain, for losing this amazing person, for loving him that much, for not being able to get over him, for crying every night alone in my apartment...

Don't know how, don't know why, we found each other again. And when i saw him, i knew i couldn't let him go again.

I've learnt that i shouldn't hold back the things i feel. We have this amazing relationship (to be honest, i never saw anything even remotely similar) where we support, comfort, and accompany each other always.

Life taught me not to waste a second of my life on regrets, anger, holding back, sadness; so we talk a lot, share our feelings, solve issues right away.

And of course, we let each other know how much we love the other one, everytime we get the chance. We never know when its going to be the last time, so i wanna make sure to live every moment to the fullest.